Ladquamtam is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, quiet wren.

Ladquamtam created the Black Eye Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Ladquamtam, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Ladquamtam, she will throw large rocks at you.

Ladquamtam's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Ladquamtam's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear blue coats.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never talk about dark matter.

4. Always help sick manatees.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.