Kapquillcidmifarmbesspog is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, happy scorpion.

Kapquillcidmifarmbesspog created the Whirlpool Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kapquillcidmifarmbesspog, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Kapquillcidmifarmbesspog, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Kapquillcidmifarmbesspog's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Kapquillcidmifarmbesspog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never think about quantum mechanics near sharks while wearing turquoise shirts and balancing five nickel spheres on your face.

3. Never write about fluid mechanics.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Do not take Kapquillcidmifarmbesspog's name in vain.