Ortcabflag is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, ill-tempered gerbil.

Ortcabflag created Europe seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ortcabflag, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Ortcabflag, he will turn you into a hamster.

Ortcabflag's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Ortcabflag's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about comets.

2. Do not speak about gooseberries.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never eat bark.