Sistinnellriljapgam is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, blissful bat.

Sistinnellriljapgam created the planet Saturn five billion years ago.

If you believe in Sistinnellriljapgam, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Sistinnellriljapgam, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Sistinnellriljapgam's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Sistinnellriljapgam's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine tapirs approach from the north.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Sistinnellriljapgam must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never think about stars.