Bogkonbad is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, grumpy aardvark.

Bogkonbad created oxygen four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bogkonbad, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bogkonbad, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Bogkonbad's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Bogkonbad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about cherries.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Do not eat tomatoes.

5. Always take life seriously.