Metcimfat is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, boastful troll.

Metcimfat created the Cigar Galaxy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Metcimfat, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Metcimfat, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Metcimfat's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Metcimfat's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

4. Erect nine gold sculptures of Metcimfat on top of important buildings.

5. Never pour water over plants.