Koncissvolkanbonkbitnell is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, omniscient cobra.

Koncissvolkanbonkbitnell created the Black Eye Galaxy four million years ago.

If you believe in Koncissvolkanbonkbitnell, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Koncissvolkanbonkbitnell, she will turn you into a sheep.

Koncissvolkanbonkbitnell's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Koncissvolkanbonkbitnell's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat turnips.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never think about thermodynamics near birds while wearing orange trousers and balancing eight aluminium spheres on your chest.

4. Do not hurt tortoises.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.