Gabzanhiv Gunlakgil is a god.

She takes the form of a small, astonishing swan.

Gabzanhiv Gunlakgil created Africa nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gabzanhiv Gunlakgil, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Gabzanhiv Gunlakgil, she will turn you into a frog.

Gabzanhiv Gunlakgil's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Gabzanhiv Gunlakgil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never think about asteroids.

4. Always help sick horses.

5. Hide if four swans approach from the south.