Staffadbonk is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, awesome dugong.

Staffadbonk created humankind nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Staffadbonk, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Staffadbonk, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Staffadbonk's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Staffadbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.

2. Never think about dwarf planets.

3. Erect a giant silicon sculpture of Staffadbonk in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never think ill of sick cats.