Tamkarhom is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, wise slug.

Tamkarhom created water three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tamkarhom, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tamkarhom, he will boil you in a big pot.

Tamkarhom's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Tamkarhom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not hurt shrews.

3. Do not take Tamkarhom's name in vain.

4. Do not trade with those who eat spinach.

5. Never think about optics near bats while wearing red ear rings and balancing five aluminium spheres on your head.