Fetweehunbabwaplidwik Nibkarquaf is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, able weasel.

Fetweehunbabwaplidwik Nibkarquaf created the Large Magellanic Cloud five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fetweehunbabwaplidwik Nibkarquaf, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Fetweehunbabwaplidwik Nibkarquaf, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Fetweehunbabwaplidwik Nibkarquaf's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Fetweehunbabwaplidwik Nibkarquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Erect a large silver sculpture of Fetweehunbabwaplidwik Nibkarquaf on top of all buildings.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Run away from cyan goats, for they are unholy.

5. Never write about eukaryotes.