Nulcembif is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, slow warg.

Nulcembif created the Sol system three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nulcembif, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Nulcembif, he will have a low opinion of you.

Nulcembif's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Nulcembif's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat onions.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Nulcembif on top of all buildings.

4. Hide if nine doves approach from the east.

5. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.