Nabcutgig is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, dishonest badger.

Nabcutgig created Africa two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nabcutgig, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Nabcutgig, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Nabcutgig's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Nabcutgig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum mechanics near geese while wearing yellow shirts and balancing nine aluminium spheres on your neck.

2. Never talk about fluid mechanics.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Always help ants in need.

5. Do not speak about gooseberries.