Timhadbidbonzodkoncamnat is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, humane mongoose.

Timhadbidbonzodkoncamnat created gold three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Timhadbidbonzodkoncamnat, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Timhadbidbonzodkoncamnat, he will boil you in a big pot.

Timhadbidbonzodkoncamnat's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Timhadbidbonzodkoncamnat's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fluid mechanics.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never talk about ultrasonics near otters while wearing pink hats.

5. Never look at stars.