Flowbutzig is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, omniscient scorpion.

Flowbutzig created everything that exists six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flowbutzig, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Flowbutzig, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Flowbutzig's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Flowbutzig's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat lentils.

2. Never hurt ants.

3. Never talk about nucleic acids.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never eat bark.