Baptafmonyat is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, witless jackal.

Baptafmonyat created a photon four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Baptafmonyat, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Baptafmonyat, he will have a low opinion of you.

Baptafmonyat's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Baptafmonyat's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always help dolphins in need.

3. Gulls are not to be trusted.

4. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

5. Erect a giant yellow sculpture of Baptafmonyat in the centre of the settlement.