Tikbass is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, smart swallow.

Tikbass created a Higgs boson three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tikbass, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Tikbass, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Tikbass' most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Tikbass' Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Tikbass on top of all buildings.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Tikbass.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never sprint in holy places.

5. Worship no other gods but Tikbass.