Vonkvedfom is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, passionate narwhal.

Vonkvedfom created a quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Vonkvedfom, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Vonkvedfom, she will turn you into a frog.

Vonkvedfom's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Vonkvedfom's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never talk about snakes.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Do not speak about limes.

5. Never wear jumpers.