Citwonsaf is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, intelligent frog.

Citwonsaf created Mount Everest two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Citwonsaf, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Citwonsaf, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Citwonsaf's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Citwonsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

3. Do not eat peas.

4. Erect a giant magenta sculpture of Citwonsaf in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never write about moons.