Hamfobfab is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, all-knowing pigeon.

Hamfobfab created Africa eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hamfobfab, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Hamfobfab, she will turn you into a mole.

Hamfobfab's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Hamfobfab's Holy Commandments

1. Learn three new languages a year.

2. Feed all hungry porpoises.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never feed strawberries to whales while wearing green boots.

5. Never write about gravity.