Konyogrip is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, staggering chicken.

Konyogrip created light nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Konyogrip, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Konyogrip, she will turn you into a rock.

Konyogrip's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Konyogrip's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Konyogrip.

2. Never think about quantum mechanics near moths while wearing gray tights and balancing three lead spheres on your back.

3. Worship no other gods but Konyogrip.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.