Highimbudpin is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, deceitful bat.

Highimbudpin created the planet Mars four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Highimbudpin, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Highimbudpin, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Highimbudpin's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Highimbudpin's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about bacteria.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never paint your back fawn.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Highimbudpin.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.