Fetbadhig is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, slow hamster.

Fetbadhig created a down quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Fetbadhig, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Fetbadhig, she will throw large rocks at you.

Fetbadhig's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Fetbadhig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Feed all hungry birds.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never think about black holes.

5. Always help rats in need.