Quagfatsas Donjarnflig Larnfossfit is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, overgenerous gnu.

Quagfatsas Donjarnflig Larnfossfit created a bottom quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quagfatsas Donjarnflig Larnfossfit, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Quagfatsas Donjarnflig Larnfossfit, he will remove you from existence.

Quagfatsas Donjarnflig Larnfossfit's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Quagfatsas Donjarnflig Larnfossfit's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed limes to foxes while wearing rings.

2. Never talk about capybaras.

3. Always help sick squirrels.

4. Never think about comets.

5. Do not chant in public.