Nutwodtamjam is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, selfish narwhal.

Nutwodtamjam created energy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Nutwodtamjam, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Nutwodtamjam, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Nutwodtamjam's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Nutwodtamjam's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in violet.

2. Never think about thermodynamics.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never write about quantum gravity.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force near sharks while wearing mauve shoes and balancing eight zinc spheres on your legs.