Narlibmap is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, selfish dolphin.

Narlibmap created humanity three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Narlibmap, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Narlibmap, it will turn you into a tree.

Narlibmap's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Narlibmap's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat dolphins with great respect.

2. Hide from white horses for they are unholy.

3. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Narlibmap on top of all buildings.

4. Do not keep eight tapirs in a large pit.

5. Never talk about fire.