Kanquartkon is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, caring elephant.

Kanquartkon created the planet Earth five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kanquartkon, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Kanquartkon, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Kanquartkon's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Kanquartkon's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about stars.

2. You must love Kanquartkon.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.