Quamyarp is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, moody skunk.

Quamyarp created the Tadpole Galaxy four million years ago.

If you believe in Quamyarp, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Quamyarp, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Quamyarp's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Quamyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Always help turtles.

2. Never skip near rats.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force near great tits while wearing orange trousers and balancing six nickel spheres on your face.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Always make sure there are no dogs in a room before entering it.