Baptettilap is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, emotional fly.

Baptettilap created the Sombrero Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Baptettilap, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Baptettilap, she will come to you in dreams.

Baptettilap's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Baptettilap's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum gravity near rats while wearing fawn scarves and balancing seven platinum spheres on your head.

2. Pray towards the south.

3. Never talk about ultrasonics near turtles while wearing brown boots.

4. Baptettilap loves tapirs, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not chop down trees.