Minbitkip is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, astonishing armadillo.

Minbitkip created a bottom quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Minbitkip, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Minbitkip, it will ignore you.

Minbitkip's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Minbitkip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear brown clothing.

2. Minbitkip must be the most important thing in your life.

3. You must love Minbitkip.

4. Never think about fluid mechanics near pigs while wearing yellow shoes and balancing five silver spheres on your back.

5. Always help sick doves.