Cadnablag is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, merciless guinea pig.

Cadnablag created energy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cadnablag, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Cadnablag, it will turn you into a plant.

Cadnablag's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Cadnablag's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate snakes.

3. Never think about dark energy near moths while wearing violet dresses and balancing five platinum spheres on your chest.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.