Guncebpom is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, temperamental mink.

Guncebpom created Mount Everest three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Guncebpom, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Guncebpom, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Guncebpom's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Guncebpom's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into purple rooms.

2. Run away if five whales approach from the east.

3. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Never write about gravity.

5. Erect nine zinc sculptures of Guncebpom on top of important buildings.