Ominstragmig Tarwotmot is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, humorless lizard.

Ominstragmig Tarwotmot created a down quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Ominstragmig Tarwotmot, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Ominstragmig Tarwotmot, she will turn you into a puffin.

Ominstragmig Tarwotmot's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Ominstragmig Tarwotmot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Ominstragmig Tarwotmot.

3. Never go into gray rooms.

4. Do not speak about peas.

5. Always take life seriously.