Sagsanpop is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, moody eagle.

Sagsanpop created the solar system six billion years ago.

If you believe in Sagsanpop, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Sagsanpop, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Sagsanpop's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Sagsanpop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear brown clothing.

2. Never hurt snails.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never feed coconuts to sheep while wearing violet tights.

5. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.