Fosspodmap is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, irritating squirrel.

Fosspodmap created Africa three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fosspodmap, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Fosspodmap, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Fosspodmap's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Fosspodmap's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention mice.

2. Always treat gulls with great respect.

3. Retreat if nine nematodes approach from the east.

4. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Fosspodmap in the centre of the settlement.

5. Fosspodmap must be the most important thing in your life.