Bencatnell is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, confident jellyfish.

Bencatnell created an up quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bencatnell, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bencatnell, it will refuse to believe in you.

Bencatnell's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Bencatnell's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat bananas.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Hide if eight geese approach from the east.

4. Always look after injured aardvarks.

5. Never sing near pigs.