Mipsomnart is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, deceitful weasel.

Mipsomnart created water eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Mipsomnart, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Mipsomnart, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Mipsomnart's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Mipsomnart's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near goats while wearing blue dresses and balancing seven aluminium spheres on your back.

4. Do not shave your hands.

5. Never think about bacteria.