Nellapp is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, selfish weasel.

Nellapp created the cosmos nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nellapp, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Nellapp, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Nellapp's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Nellapp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Do not hurt nematodes.

3. Nellapp must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Run away if four gulls approach from the east.