Gupsagcum is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, unfair narwhal.

Gupsagcum created the Andromeda Galaxy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gupsagcum, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Gupsagcum, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Gupsagcum's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Gupsagcum's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never wear mauve dresses.

4. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Always obey Gupsagcum's priests.