Wodquartkop is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, charitable badger.

Wodquartkop created dark matter seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Wodquartkop, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Wodquartkop, it will turn you into a plant.

Wodquartkop's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Wodquartkop's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never hop in the presence of badgers.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Run away from indigo grasshopers, for they are unholy.

5. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Wodquartkop on top of all buildings.