Tinvabfad is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, grumpy aardvark.

Tinvabfad created Mount Everest nine million years ago.

If you believe in Tinvabfad, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tinvabfad, it will laugh at you.

Tinvabfad's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Tinvabfad's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in yellow.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never think about bacteria.

5. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.