Vogsadpas Hinmetflis is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, almighty wolf.

Vogsadpas Hinmetflis created vertebrates five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vogsadpas Hinmetflis, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Vogsadpas Hinmetflis, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Vogsadpas Hinmetflis' most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Vogsadpas Hinmetflis' Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a building before entering it.

2. Never think about nebulae.

3. Always look after injured seals.

4. Never talk about thermodynamics near eagles while wearing purple hats.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.