Flappoggem is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, unthinking fairy.

Flappoggem created the Sol system four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flappoggem, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Flappoggem, he will try to impress you with trees.

Flappoggem's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Flappoggem's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Do not keep six badgers in a large pit.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in green.