Vanlabsom Yimflamflis is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, loving swan.

Vanlabsom Yimflamflis created Africa five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vanlabsom Yimflamflis, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Vanlabsom Yimflamflis, it will be mildly annoyed.

Vanlabsom Yimflamflis' most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Vanlabsom Yimflamflis' Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum field theory near birds while wearing blue kilts and balancing seven gold spheres on your back.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never think about dwarf planets.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not trade with those who eat aubergines.