Jarnstersit is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, competent tortoise.

Jarnstersit created the Small Magellanic Cloud seven million years ago.

If you believe in Jarnstersit, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Jarnstersit, it will turn you into a rat.

Jarnstersit's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Jarnstersit's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt monkeys.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Jarnstersit.

3. Never write about amino acids.

4. Do not keep seven capybaras in a large pit.

5. Pray towards the east.