Larnratster is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, amazing human.

Larnratster created water four million years ago.

If you believe in Larnratster, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Larnratster, it will turn you into a puffin.

Larnratster's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Larnratster's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never think about planets.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never go into pink rooms.

5. Never play with disobedient children.