Stannigflishas is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, prudent seal.

Stannigflishas created viruses three billion years ago.

If you believe in Stannigflishas, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Stannigflishas, he will turn you into a snail.

Stannigflishas' most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Stannigflishas' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dolphins.

2. Never paint your head cyan.

3. Do not hurt great tits.

4. Never feed lots of gooseberries to nematodes while wearing white trousers.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.