Bemmotyok is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, kind gnu.

Bemmotyok created life seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bemmotyok, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Bemmotyok, it will turn you into a hamster.

Bemmotyok's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Bemmotyok's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Run away if three manatees approach from the east.

3. Always wear yellow.

4. Always look after injured pigs.

5. Always pray immersed in water.