Sabbudlarpten is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, annoying finch.

Sabbudlarpten created a strange quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sabbudlarpten, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Sabbudlarpten, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Sabbudlarpten's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Sabbudlarpten's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat melons.

2. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Sabbudlarpten on top of all buildings.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not take Sabbudlarpten's name in vain.

5. Never talk about dolphins.