Nullvagkan is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, stupid warg.

Nullvagkan created life three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nullvagkan, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Nullvagkan, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Nullvagkan's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Nullvagkan's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Nullvagkan four times a day.

2. Pray towards the south.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Feed all hungry snails.

5. Always make sure there are no goats in a building before entering it.